In Spite of all the Damage
by Bad Day at Black Rock
Summary: A bounty is cashed in, and some things are better left unseen.
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: This fic takes part of a series based on the actual episodes of Supernatural. The characters belong to the creator and writers for the show. This episode is in sequence with Season 4 set to take place after Family Remains. Background on Kayla can be found in previous episodes from the series.

In Spite of all the Damage

_A muffled cry that no one would hear._

The day started like any other off day. Sam was glad that Dean finally agreed to take the time to breath, instead of chasing down another job right away. He could only imagine the mental anguish he was going through trying to forget hell but running everyone into exhaustion wasn't the way to handle it.

Dean actually got bored of flipping through channels, which was the first indication that too much time had passed. Kayla was just supposed to be putting things in the car out in the parking lot, and it shouldn't take this long. He turned off the TV.

"Kayla's taking her time isn't she?"

"Maybe she went to get breakfast." It didn't even set off a red flag for Sam and he didn't look up from his book.

"Yeah." Even on his day off that kid was researching. He opened the door and looked across the parking lot. Nestled into a dusty row of cars was the Impala, but it wasn't right. "Kayla?" He went towards the car, the passenger door was hanging open but she wasn't there. "Kayla!" He called louder.

Sam heard the panic in his brother's voice and went to the door. "Dean what's wrong?"

"The door was open." Kayla knows what that car means to him and she'd never leave the door just hanging open for someone to come along and get in it. Not in a million years.

"Well, maybe…" He searched for an explanation as he came across the lot but his instinct followed Dean's. Something was wrong.

Then he saw it in the seat. Something he hadn't expected; something that sent a chill up his spine.

"Dean?"

Dean swiped his hand across the seat and held it up; Sam recognized the sulfur smeared across his palm. A demon had been there.

"No." He argued with himself, more to relieve the sudden panic than anything else. "She couldn't have been taken, I would have felt something. Heard it in my head, even if they gagged her she could have talked to me."

"But she didn't." Which suggested she'd been dealt unconscious and fast. If whoever did this knew anything about them, they would have made sure she couldn't yell for help. They wouldn't let her do anything to send them running. He pulled his phone out and called her but got her machine. "You can't hear anything? Can't you zoom in on her or something?"

"It doesn't really work like that." But right now he wished it did, he wished they would have worked on it more.

Dean slammed the door so hard the window tilted off its track. "Damn it!"

"We'll find her." Sam didn't make it sound like an option.

"What if Alastair has her?" There was a dusty footprint on the back door and he could almost see how it went down. She was caught completely off guard, grabbed from behind. She kicked out in defense but something happened, they did something to keep her quiet, to keep her from struggling. He didn't want to think about it.

"We don't know that."

"But it makes sense." He sat on the ground, his back against the Impala and covered his face. "I need to think."

It made perfect sense actually. Every demon they've come across so far has pegged Sam as his biggest weakness. But Alastair, he'd spent forty years learning what makes him tick. He knew exactly what buttons to push to get whatever reaction he wanted out of him. Now if he could only figure out which reaction he was looking for, he'd know where to move forward from here.

Sam took a breath and looked around the property. He saw what he was looking for; one lonely surveillance camera aimed at the parking lot. Usually in places like these it was just for show but who knows, they may be able to shed some light on what happened.


	2. Chapter 2

She slowly opened her eyes with a soft groan; the dull pounding in her head felt like a hangover. If only that was the case. Had they used chloroform? What kind of a jerk kidnapped her with chloroform? She hadn't even been thinking about keeping her guard up, not just to run out to the car with Dean and Sam right there. Hadn't they seen anything?

"Shit, who the hell do you think you are?" She muttered into the darkness. Though whoever it was had apparently pulled this off so she didn't have much room to talk. They'd accomplished what they were going for.

A quiet laugh was heard fairly close to her, though it was hard to tell exactly where it coming from. There was an old lamp standing next to her leg, giving her only enough light to barely see past the chair she was bound to. Her instinct told her to assess her surroundings but there was nothing she could look at. The smell was only vaguely useful; a kind of wet smell that you might expect in a basement, or at least underground. Great, that only narrowed it down to everywhere on the friggen planet.

"Who's there?" The situation was definitely more than a little nerve-wracking; this wasn't an amateur operator. "Quit hiding in the dark! What are you afraid of?" She wasn't one to antagonize in the particular position she was in, but she figured it would get a response out of them.

"So tough Kayla." The man's voice chuckled. "You weren't always so tough."

The voice was familiar but she couldn't place it. "Who are you?"

"I was wondering if you'd recognize my voice." He chuckled, it was coming from a different direction now. He was circling her. "Come on, you don't want to take a guess?"

"I don't think you brought me here to play games."

"Well you're right about that."

Kayla's eyes widened when he stepped into the light, not in fear, but in genuine surprise. She couldn't believe who she was looking at.


	3. Chapter 3

"Braden Roberts?" Dean stared at the surveillance footage, completely thrown off by who they were looking at. "Am I crazy? That's who it is, right? That doesn't even make sense."

Sam nodded, recognizing Kayla's ex from the mug shot they'd seen in his police report. "It is kind of strange."

"Strange?" He repeated. "Look at the hold he's got on her, she never saw him so he didn't psyche her out and she still can't even shake him. And what about the sulfur?"

"So he's possessed."

"Why would a demon possess Roberts to kidnap her?"

"Fear factor?" He offered without thinking, and then realized the truthful statement was probably the last thing he should have said. Whoever nabbed her was trying to freak her out, whoever nabbed her was after _her._

Dean seemed to come to the realization at the same time.

"You gentlemen get your copy made?" The owner of the motel was coming back into the room.

"Yes sir." Sam nodded and ejected the tape. "Thank you for your cooperation."

"No problem officers. Hope you find her." He added with a smile.

"Yeah, thanks." Sam couldn't help the slight nausea rising from the pit of his stomach. If this was someone looking for a deal, they could handle it no problem. They'd give them what they wanted, kill them and this whole thing would be finished. Now the evidence was suggesting an entirely different story.

They walked out of the office and Ruby was waiting for them outside their room. Sam had summoned her before telling Dean about the camera, he didn't even bother asking him about it. Sulfur meant demon and they already had a foot in the door to information on demons. Besides, since he told him about Ruby saving them Dean had been more understanding of her being around.

"What's up?"

"We need your help." Sam opened the door.

She was a little surprised that Dean didn't give her any kind of reaction, not even a dislikeable look. Hell, he kind of looked glad to see her. He'd become more tolerant of her since the Anna thing but it was strange even for him. "What the hell happened to you?"

He brushed by her into the room without so much as a smartass remark. He didn't even look at her.

Sam motioned her in. "Kayla's missing. We found sulfur in the car."

"Well, that explains…that." She looked at Dean.

"Have you heard anything about it?" His voice was monotone. Not threatening, not even spiteful. He just needed information and Ruby was a great place to start. Dean wasn't about to take any resources for granted. As far as he was concerned, Sam did the right thing by summoning her.

"I'm not real popular with the demon crowd lately, but I'll see what I can find out."

"Thank you." Dean sat on the bed.

She was thrown off not only by the willing courtesy, but his voice almost sounded pleading. Ruby knew it probably wasn't the time for a sarcastic remark. She kind of felt sorry for the guy, how could she not with that long lost puppy dog face he was sporting? Sam nodded to her and she went to see if there was anything she could do.

"Dean…"

"Yeah, we'll find her, I heard you."

"We will."

"You know," he stopped him. "After everything we've done and all the shit we've seen, this, right here, is my worst nightmare."

"It's gonna be okay though, she'll be okay."

"What the hell do they want from her?" He said it with conviction but in his gut he already knew the answer. Kayla had only pissed off demons by association; they didn't have anything directly against her. They were playing to a weakness and depending on who it was, her well being was of entirely no concern. They could do something to her just to watch him squirm. What's worse is he already knew it would work. He was prepared to do whatever they wanted.


	4. Chapter 4

"Braden?" She looked at him but was suspicious. "How'd you even find me?" They usually kept an incredibly low profile, they were damn near impossible to find.

"Through the grapevine." He reached out and touched her hair, brushing it back behind her ear. It was familiar, but not from him. Braden had never done that to her.

"So you're a stalker now?"

"Something like that."

"Kind of sad, it's been a long time you know. You should really let this go."

"You think I still have a thing for you?" He laughed. "You really should step off that high horse sweetheart. I just have a thing for hearing scared little girls scream."

She shrugged, keeping a calm demeanor while she studied him. It wasn't right. "But you came all this way to hear _me_ scream."

"Maybe I'm sentimental." He smirked. "I mean, you're still looking good after everything. You didn't turn to drugs to hide from the pain or any of that other bullshit people do to get away from their past."

Kayla didn't respond.

"Don't be an ungrateful bitch Kayla come on."

That was it. The way he looked at her, the tone in his voice, that _exact _statement, everything suddenly brought her memory rushing forward. _You're beautiful you know that? _Sam's voice echoed in her mind but it still brought more questions.

He leaned in closer to her, trying to intimidate a reaction but she didn't budge. "You're not Braden Roberts."

"Excuse me?"

"Braden's a criminal of convenience, not a planner. He's also not the brightest bulb and never would have found me to begin with. So, do you _want_ me to call you Braden? Or would you prefer Sam, or Meg…or hell, you could come out of daddy's footsteps and tell me your real name."

His eyes turned black.

"If you're going to have your way with me again, I'm going to have to assume you're batting for the other team and _seriously_ have a thing for me."

He struck her across the face.

It stung, she'd admit it to herself. It was still a demon after all. Kayla spit blood onto the floor and looked up at him. "Is that all you've got?"

"Ha." An amused laugh came from the darkness. "I can see Dean's attraction." A man walked into the light.

Now there were two demons. _That_ made the odds a little different.

He grinned; he liked the fear in her eyes. "Kayla, so nice to get a formal introduction." He looked to the demon. "I didn't mean to interrupt, I told you to have your fun."

"She took the fun out of it." He growled.

"I really hope you've beaten the hell out of that body."

"Shut up."

"Well," He turned the main light on, illuminating a table with leather straps in the center of the room. _A rack._ The term suddenly popped into her head. "You can stay for the show."

Her instinct died out. She didn't use the light to check her surroundings; she was focused on the table, on the leather straps bolted onto it that she knew she wouldn't be able to break. Kayla swallowed hard against panicked tears when his intentions were shoved into her consciousness. _Oh God Dean, where are you?_

"Catch a clue sweetheart?"

She swallowed hard as a tear ran down her face. "Alastair." Just hearing his name come out of her mouth sent chills up her neck.

"And I've heard _so_ much about you." He smiled again. "Had to get a new meat suit you know, that bitch Anna fried my last one. This one's okay though, strong enough for its purpose." Alastair walked over and pulled a small cart over to the rack. "We," he walked over and cut the ropes from the chair she was on. "Are going to have so much fun."


	5. Chapter 5

Dean stared absently at his hands while violent memories of hell were running though his mind. If Alastair got a hold of Kayla, he'd never forgive himself. He'd never be able to make it go away. The angels said God must like him, but he sure has a fucked up way of showing it. The hits just kept on coming.

"What'd you find out?"

He looked up at Sam's voice; he didn't even realize Ruby had come in.

"It sounds like it was Azazel's daughter."

Dean stood. "The one who _raped_ her?" It just keeps getting better.

"That's not really the bad part."

He clenched his fists, desperately holding on to the anger inside him. He'd need it when they found the demon.

"She was answering a bounty, from Alastair."

"A bounty for Kayla." Sam couldn't believe it; what's more he couldn't believe that he couldn't believe it. Of course they'd come after Kayla, someone would have come after her eventually.

Ruby nodded. "I don't know where she took her to turn her in, but I think I can find them."

"You think?" Dean snapped at her. Courtesy gone.

"I _can,_ okay? I'll find Alastair."

"Before or after he filets the skin from her bones?" He could feel his breath quickening and he leaned against the table.

"Panicking isn't going to help." Sam told him.

"I'm beyond panicking! That thing tore me limb from limb for forty years! She's not going to be magically put back together when he's done being a sadistic bastard!"

"Maybe he's holding her, you know, for a trade."

Ruby agreed. "He's probably after you, not her. You're his main goal."

"No." Dean shook his head. "If they wanted a trade they would have left something, or at least contacted us by now. They wouldn't have gone through the trouble of nabbing a meat suit from her past if they weren't planning on keeping her for awhile!" He was furious, mostly at himself. They've got a freaking apocalypse going on and he didn't even think to keep a close eye on her. He should have glanced out the window at least, Christ, if only he'd checked on her.

"Look, we need to find her before anything does happen. So pull yourself together and we can think straight."

Sam was right; he needed to think straight. "I'll be back in awhile, my phone is on if you find anything."

"Where are you going?"

"To try to get help."

"You want me to call Bobby?"

"For what?" He shouted, then composed himself more. "Bobby's too far, he won't get here in time."

"Maybe he'll know how to find Alastair." Sam was already pulling out his phone.

"Yeah, fine." He took off in the Impala, he needed someplace quiet, secluded. Someplace he would show up. In the back end of town was a closed down mall. He parked in front of the main doors, everything was locked down and graffiti covered the windows. Not wasting time being inconspicuous, Dean snatched the bolt cutters out of the trunk and broke in.

"Hello?!" He yelled but only got an echo in return. Good. He swallowed and looked up. "Come on Cas, I know you're watching all this happen!" Nothing. "This isn't the time to wait and see what we do, get your ass down here!" He waited, but he didn't show. The bastard wasn't going to show. After everything he'd put up with from them, he couldn't get a little divine intervention. "Cas…don't do this to me man." He sat on one of the benches and waited, it was all he could do.


	6. Chapter 6

It was so cold. They had stripped her of her clothing and as Alastair finished tying her to the rack, a little bit of hope faded from her. This was really going to happen. She knew she didn't understand what Dean was going through, she knew it was too terrible for words. But she hadn't been thankful for it.

"You're trembling Kayla, Dean must have shared some details of our time together."

"He mentioned it."

He smirked. "Good times. But you know, you don't really appreciate something unless you experience it. Which is why we're going to do an activity. I'm going to play you a memory, like a video. Then you'll get to experience it first hand. Sounds like fun, right?"

She didn't answer him and couldn't stop herself from trembling. She knew he got off on the torture, but she didn't know how long she could keep from screaming.

"Oh, where's your sense of humor now?" He set a hand on her forehead.

_Dean tightened the straps on the table, completely ignoring the pleas of the man laying there._

"_What are you going to do? Please man, I wasn't that bad!"_

_He placed a strip of duct tape over his mouth and picked a knife up from the table. The man's eyes widened but he didn't hesitate. Dean slowly drew the blade down his throat and across his shoulder. The cut wasn't deep; it produced only a thin line of blood._

"He was shy at first, lucky for you." He picked up a knife from the table. "I won't use the tape, call me old fashioned but I like the screaming." Alastair traced the knife down a similar path to what she saw Dean do. She grit her teeth but didn't make a sound, she'd hold out as long as she could. "That a girl. This is easy, isn't it?" He touched her shoulder.

_The man on the rack had already been worked over fairly well. Dean placed a knife back on the table and picked up what appeared to be a blowtorch. He flipped a switch and a small stream of blue flame flowed out from the nozzle._

_As soon as he saw the flame the man started pleading, crying out for mercy. Dean held the canister over his shoulder, ignoring the screams as he burned a line across his collar bone. The first movement already left a line of blackened, peeling tissue. When he ran it back the second time, it easily burned through the flesh and muscle alike, leaving exposed bone._

"I think he was just experimenting on that one." Alastair picked up a blowtorch. "The fragility of the human body is truly an amazing thing to discover. You'd be surprised how overcome by fascination you can get."

She looked fearfully at the blowtorch; that was going to hurt. She might as well throw in the not-screaming towel. "Why are you doing this?"

"Oh don't worry yourself with the details. Now," he turned the nozzle and the flame crackled out. "This won't be exactly the same, did you see how easily the bone showed through? Because of the blue flame, he turned it on so high." He made an adjustment on the canister and it went from a bright blue to a dull red. "There."

Kayla shifted under the straps in vein as he approached her and he laughed; they both knew she wasn't going anywhere.

At first he just barely touched her with the flame and she inhaled sharply as she felt the sting of the burn. He smirked and pushed the torch closer to her skin. It was bearable at first, like touching a hot stove. Then as the heat bored through her skin she could actually smell it burning, the aroma of charred flesh filled the room and she cried out in pain. The flame slowly moved along her collar, staying long enough to burn through to the bone before moving on.

"Stop!" She cried out. "Please stop." The searing flame sent waves of pain through her arm and chest.

"Almost…there." He stepped back, the entire left side of her collar bone was exposed in the front, surrounded by charred flesh.

Tears were streaming down her face and her breath shuddered against sobs. _You're ok._ All she had to do was survive until Dean found her.

"There was one more thing. You've got such a cute little tattoo on your ankle." He grabbed her foot and turned it on its side, holding it firmly so it didn't move. His finger trailed around the anti-possession symbol. "You won't be needing that anymore." He brought the blowtorch close to her again. "I saw you have another one on the back of your neck, I thought it was sweet." He lowered his voice to a low whisper. "But we'll be taking care of that one surgically."

The flame touched her ankle and she cried out as it quickly and easily burned through the sensitive skin. _Stop crying. You're giving him what he wants. _But she couldn't stop.Her only relief was that it didn't take as long as her collar.

"Go ahead and cry for me sweetheart. Let's go again shall we?"

"No wait!" But he grabbed hold of her ankle where he'd just burned it.

_The woman on the rack was crying uncontrollably and her sobs echoed through the room. Dean had a different knife now, more of a dagger that he used to stab into her upper thigh, twisting the blade before jerking it out again and repeating the process with her other leg._

Kayla coughed back a cry when the knife went in unexpectedly but couldn't stop the scream when the blade was twisted. She gasped as he jerked it out of her leg.

"Things might start to get a little rough now." He drove the dagger into her other leg.

She screamed, not holding anything back. Her breath came out in ragged pants. "Castiel where are you?"

"Hmm," he twisted the blade and smiled when she screamed. "You call for Dean's angel and not Dean, interesting."

Because Dean couldn't hear her. He couldn't, but Cas could.

Alastair pulled the dagger out and grabbed over the wound.

_Another man who was already covered in blood, Dean used a filet knife to peel the skin away from his rib. The most horrifying part about the whole thing was Dean's subdued face while the man screamed in agony. He didn't stop until he could clearly make out two ribs and the skin hung loose against his body._

"Oh God, please…" she screamed as the blade sliced and her skin easily gave way, she strained needlessly against the straps as he slowly cut against her rib. "Stop! God please stop!" She panted when he did actually stop and she felt the loose skin where it lay on her side. "Please," she cried out again as he ripped the loose skin from her body. "What do you want from me?!"

"I want you to scream," he leaned in close to her and slid his fingers across the wound, smiling as the blood smeared across her stomach. He really did live for this. "And we're just getting started."

Her low moan worked up to another cry of suffering as he peeled away at the other rib. "Just do what you want, I don't want to see anymore!"

"That would defeat the purpose wouldn't you say?" His fingers ran along the uncovered bones.

_He seemed to be angry, from an outside standpoint he was out of control but Kayla knew better. He was cutting, more like slicing, making deep slashes into the woman at the table but Dean calculated every movement. He never once got near an artery or anywhere that would bleed too horribly for that matter. He cut as though it were a living person, not just a soul._

_Different now, the image flashed to another man on the table and Dean was reaching into a gaping hole in his stomach. He pulled out what looked to be a handful of intestines._

_Yet another image of Dean skinning a person alive, in each vision the victim screamed and pled for mercy while he ignored them. His face was completely void of emotion while he tore them apart._

"Castiel help me…" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"My, we have some work to do to catch up to Dean." He picked up a knife.

"No no no, Alastair please…I can't take it." She whimpered, pathetically in her own eyes as he made a quick swipe with the blade across her stomach. "Why would you let this happen?!" She screamed.

He growled into her ear. "I guess your angel doesn't like you as much as you thought." Alastair cut across her arm. "Now brace yourself for this one, it's gonna…" He didn't finish his sentence, just made a surgical like cut deep into her stomach.

She could barely even scream. Blood started coughing up from her mouth as he cut deeper into her. _Oh God, you're not going to survive this. You'll be dead by the time they find you._ As he reached into her stomach the pain surged through every inch of her body and suddenly she was unconscious.

Alastair smirked and turned to the other demon. "Wake her up."

He rubbed his neck and didn't move. "This really isn't my bag of tricks Alastair, I don't do this."

"Coward." He took out the smelling salt and ran it under her nose, waiting patiently as she slowly came to. Damn reality, the fragility of humans, though fascinating, was also bothersome at times.

It took awhile for her senses to come around. Her eyes slowly opened and she cried out softly when the pain hit her again, she mumbled Dean's name under her breath.

"Welcome back."

"What do you want?"

"You know what I want." He slowly slipped the knife into the cut in her stomach, exhaling softly in euphoria as she cried out. "I want Dean."

She sobbed against the pain. "You're wasting your time, because no matter what you do, and how long you drag it out…I'll die. I'll die and it'll be over. You can't just start over with me."

"Well I wouldn't count on that reprieve just yet." He went to the table for his next instrument. Time to start skinning. "Besides, your death is the whole point. I don't need _you_ to do anything. Your torture, your death, seeing your body torn to shreds…it's enough to send him over the edge. To become what I need him to become."

Her lip trembled as she clamped her mouth shut, trying to keep from crying.

"At least you're smart enough not to aggravate your tormentor."


	7. Chapter 7

Dean had been back at the room for an hour, still waiting on word from Ruby. Still waiting on word from _anyone._ Ruby ran into the room looking like she was in a hurry, looking like she actually cared.

"It's underground storage at an old hangar, no problem getting in."

"How far are we?" Dean was grabbing his keys.

"Driving like a bat out of hell? About an hour."

"We can make it faster." Sam stated the obvious as they headed out the door.

Dean rushed but his heart was heavy in his chest. He was afraid of what they would find when they got there, he was afraid they would be too late. When he got into the driver's seat he tore out of the lot, leaving only the smell of burning tires.

"How are we gonna do this?" Sam asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's Alastair. He's got some serious mojo."

"We just have to go at him with everything we've got. We don't have to be able to kill him, we just have to be able to get Kayla out."

"And survive on our way out."

"Yeah that'd be the idea."

Sam glanced back to Ruby. "Anything helpful you can tell us?"

"He scares the crap out of me."

"That's not helpful."

She shrugged. "You know what my suggestion would be."

"No." Dean shot at her, then stopped and looked at Sam. "You're not strong enough to do that with him, are you? You tried before, nothing happened."

He shook his head. "I can't take on Alastair. I haven't been practicing. We just…we go in and give him everything we've got. We'll take care of him, our way."

"That's the spirit." Dean gripped the steering wheel. It was the first time he wished Sam did have some kind of crazy mojo to wipe this guy out. Alastair just got bumped above Lilith on his hit list and he was not going to go down easy.


	8. Chapter 8

She was covered in blood; she could feel it, seeping, flowing from head to toe. She could hear it dripping onto the floor which was her only sign that she was still alive. The pain was overwhelming her into a state of subconscious but she refused to give up, she refused to stop breathing. She cried out softly, there wasn't any energy left in her to scream as she felt another surge of new pain and heard a chunk of flesh hit the found.

Was she hallucinating? It couldn't be a hallucination, for her sake it had to be real. Castiel stood behind Alastair and his anger was clear behind his straight expression.

"Castiel…" She let out a weak whisper.

"You can stop calling to him now, he's not coming."

She took a deep breath of relief and smiled softly, her eyes closed.

Alastair was confused by this; he didn't think he'd done anything to cut that final cord. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Castiel standing there. When he turned fully he saw that he wasn't alone; there were about a dozen angels in the room. The demon that was possessing Braden seeped out of him and he lay motionless on the floor as one of the winged bastards stepped away from him.

Castiel tilted his head. "You're going to regret this."

Alastair's eyes turned white and he threw down his knife. "Damn you to hell Castiel! You weren't supposed to be here!" He attacked him but it was just out of spite, he knew he was outnumbered. He knew he wouldn't win. Using every ounce of power he had he threw a wave of light at them that didn't hurt them, but it was enough to send them across the room. He took off around the corner but by the time anyone caught up, he was nowhere in sight.

"Castiel," one of the angels called. "He's gone."

"We'll worry about him later." Castiel approached the table.

_Outside_

Dean glanced through the binoculars and got out of the car, popping the trunk to gather weapons. "They guarded the doors."

"Hold on there cowboy." Ruby looked at the men standing by the entrance to the hangar. "Those aren't demons. Those are angels."

"Angels?" Sam looked over.

"Looks like someone already called in the cavalry."

Sam looked at Dean, a little surprised. "Maybe they're not all heartless bastards."

"Yeah, maybe." But seeing them there made him more nervous than relieved. Just having Cas show up is one thing, he wouldn't have brought reinforcements if he didn't need them.

_This is real_, the angels were really here. In the midst of being completely overwhelmed she took a quick breath but immediately started coughing, blood ran down from her mouth.

"Calm down. Take slow, shallow breaths." His voice was soothing as he started loosening the straps on the table.

It took a lot of strength but she mustered up her voice. "Castiel, where were you?"

He didn't look pleased with the question. If she didn't know any better she'd call the expression guilt. "Save your strength." But he couldn't help but read the look of lost hope on her face. "I was on assignment on Earth, I wouldn't have been able to hear you." He shook his head with a frown. "Alastair must have known. I didn't want this for you, I wouldn't have let it happen if I'd known you have to believe that."

Sam was headed down the hallway towards the room, suddenly his body was overwhelmed with pain and he staggered against the wall.

"What's wrong?" Dean looked at him.

This was bad. "Nothing, I just…"

"Bullshit, how bad is it? Fuck it." He broke into a run down the hall.

"Dean!" He shouldn't get that shock, he shouldn't see her in the condition she was in. Sam took off after him but Ruby didn't follow; there were one too many angels in the room for her.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he hit the doorway. Before he could even see her on the table he could smell the blood and saw it covering the floor. He covered his mouth and a couple men, presumably angels, stepped up to him.

"Keep him back." He heard Castiel's voice. "Don't let him see her like this. Sam, I could use a hand."

Sam side glanced to Dean and approached the table, his own emotions took over and he was hit by a wave of nausea. "Jesus Christ." He breathed. "Kayla…"

"Unstrap that side, be careful."

"Castiel, what he showed me…was it real?" The images of Dean in hell were still vibrant in her mind.

He was still gently pulling the straps loose, trying not to injure her any further. "You have to understand the circumstances he was under."

She looked at Sam, she hadn't even realized he'd approached. "Sam."

The tears running down his face probably weren't very reassuring to her, he wiped them away and offered a forced smile. "Hey sweetheart."

"Don't cry." She set her hand over his.

Around the angels Dean could see the blood run from her fingertips and his jaw trembled, then quickly tightened.

"Kayla I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." She took an easy breath and everyone in the room could hear the fluid in her lungs. "It's not so bad, it's better…now that he's stopped."

_Oh God._ Dean sat against the wall and covered his face, finally breaking into tears. He couldn't believe he'd let this happen.

She couldn't feel anything then and that scared her more than the pain. "Where's Dean?" Her panicked voice came out in a soft mutter. "Cas, am I dying?"

"I won't let you die." He watched Sam undo the last strap. "I've numbed your senses so you can't feel the pain, it's only temporary."

"Dean?" She called out for him, if Sam was there then surely he was too.

He forced himself to pull it together and stood up, clearing his throat before speaking. "Kayla I'm here."

Sam couldn't even stand to look at her any longer; he turned away and wiped his eyes again.

Castiel turned to Dean. "You really shouldn't see her like this."

"I can't just stand here while she's calling me Cas."

He hesitated but nodded to the other angels, who cleared a path for him. She said his name again and he went to her, if Cas hadn't numbed the pain he wouldn't even had touched her but he placed his hand over hers. The skin had been removed from two of her fingers, a familiar and now excruciating memory from hell.

"I don't want to die." She whispered quietly to him.

He didn't hide the tears from her, how could he in the sight of her broken and tortured body? "You're not going to die, all these angels showed up to help you."

"You don't even believe in angels."

"I'm sure believing in them right now."

She took a ragged breath and gasped lightly, it didn't hurt but it wasn't flowing, her system was shutting down.

"Kayla don't go out on me ok? Focus."

Castiel lifted her from the table and took her to a blanket another angel had laid on the floor. She was deathly quiet now.

"Hey," Dean kneeled beside her and lowered his voice. "You can't give up, I need you here. I mean hell, the day I lost the sound of your voice was the same day I picked up Alastair's knife."

Castiel looked at him but he was focused on Kayla.

"Imagine the damage I could do around here." His sarcasm was automatic but it was the truth, time had erased the memory of her voice and he just couldn't do it anymore. He felt her weakly squeeze his hand, she was still holding on.

The angels were quiet now, waiting to see what Castiel was going to do.

Dean looked at him, there was no sarcasm left in his voice. "Cas I'll do whatever you ask me to if you'll just save her."

"You don't need to make that deal, I won't let her die." He laid a hand on her forehead. "Sam, Dean, close your eyes."

"Cas you can't…" one the angels argued.

"Shut up." He told him sharply.

"We have to get back!"

"I can get back. Dean remove your hand." A white light slowly started glowing from him.

Dean pulled his hand back and lowered his head, squeezing his eyes shut against the angel's light. He heard Kayla take a ragged breath that should have been her last.


	9. Chapter 9

Kayla opened her eyes with a start and looked around, she was in a motel room that was pretty high class for them but there didn't seem to be anyone around. She sat up slowly and rubbed her hands over her face, trying to get a recollection of how she got here. The last thing she remembered was Castiel, he'd been standing behind Alastair and then…nothing. She couldn't remember the rest.

The metallic sound of pipes and water stopping was heard from the bathroom, someone was there. She held up her arms and looked at them; the flawless skin was of little comfort as she remembered the burning sear of Alastair's knife across them. The bathroom door opened and Sam came out.

"Hey." He seemed relieved that she was awake and sat at the end of the bed. "How you feeling?"

"Um, good, I guess."

"You remember what happened? You've been out like, eighteen hours."

She paused and let her memory roam again but still couldn't come up with anything past Castiel. "I remember Castiel showing up, it's kind of blank after that."

"Yeah, a bunch of angels showed up actually. He saved your life." His face didn't match the uplifting statement. "I'm so sorry we weren't there Kayla, we had no idea where you'd been taken. Ruby had to…"

"It wasn't your fault."

He moved up and hugged her tightly. "I'm just glad you're okay, it wasn't looking good for a minute there you know?"

She returned the hug and tried to sound as normal as possible. "Alastair's a bastard, what can you do?"

Dean came in the front door with what looked like lunch, he looked as relieved as Sam that she was even awake. "You're up." He set the bags down and took Sam's place on the bed. "How's that angel mojo working for you?"

"Great I guess, Cas must have done a good job…" She tried to fake it for him too and she couldn't. "I don't," but she stopped when the tears welled up in her eyes.

He gently stroked her cheek. "I'm so sorry."

Sam hadn't seen her like this since he had to deliver the news about Dean, her sobs were almost uncontrollable. He grabbed his burger and his laptop before making a quiet exit out of the room.

"Oh God Dean, I was so scared." She hung on to him tightly, afraid to ever let go again.

He shook his head, numbing his senses to the overwhelming disappointment in himself. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from this." He was starting to think he could protect anyone from anything, maybe there was more to this destiny crap than he thought. Is all this really meant to happen? It was really in someone's destiny to go through something this horrible? What's worse, if that were true, is that there was nothing he could do about it.

"I don't know how you did it Dean, not for thirty years. Not over and over again for that long. I called for you, I called for Castiel, I prayed for hours and no one came."

Castiel had already made his apologies and he really believed he meant it. "Cas was working on Earth, he said he wouldn't have been able to hear you. He came as soon as he found out, if he hadn't been there…" They would have been too late. "We were lucky he showed up when he did."

She almost laughed but it came out in a whimper. "This is what being lucky feels like huh?" She shook her head and pulled away from him to wipe her eyes. "You must think I'm being ridiculous, to be this dramatic over a few hours."

"No, I don't." He moved back close to her. "I wouldn't wish five minutes of Alastair on anyone, not one damn soul. I know what he's capable of." She got quiet then and he recognized the look in her eyes, the distance he could probably expect for some time. "You want something to eat?"

She shook her head. "Did they get him?"

"He got away. But they're looking."

She nodded and rested her head in her hands. "I wish I could just forget. I wish I couldn't remember."

He knew that feeling. "I know. And there's _nothing_ that's going to make that better." He leaned over and grabbed his bag, pulling out a familiar bottle of Jack. "You want a drink?"

She let herself laugh then and nodded a little. "Absolutely."

"Good, me too." He went and grabbed a couple shot glasses and laid them on the dresser. "You know, you can hate that I let his happen."

"I don't hate you." She sighed, back to this argument.

"Come on, let's be realistic." He poured the shots. "Alastair did this to get at me."

"Yeah, he told me. He thought he could break you."

"Well you're still here." He turned and handed her one of the glasses. "Which means I'm still sane, and he can go fuck himself." Dean turned the shot up. "But don't get me wrong, we're gonna find him. He's gonna pay for this."

It wasn't a point she'd argue with. Kayla turned up her glass and handed it back.

"Really though, don't harbor any bad feelings about Cas. The look on his face was uh, it was almost human. He got there as fast as he could."

She believed him. "I know."

"He saved your life because he wanted to. Not because he had to." He refilled the shots. "We owe him."


	10. Chapter 10

_Days later_

When Castiel arrived in the room he first looked to Dean, who was asleep on the couch with his arms crossed in front of him. It looked as though he hadn't meant to fall asleep, that he just dozed off while watching over her. Kayla was also asleep on the bed across from him.

He wondered what brought him here. Kayla wasn't one of the humans in his charge, and he could more than view the progress of her recovery without actually coming to Earth. Something in him just wanted to do more than just observe, something compelled him to make the visit. Perhaps the others were right, maybe he really was getting too close to this family. The idea didn't stop him.

With light movements he sat on the edge of the bed, making a decent effort at not waking her. The unsettling sounds of her nightmare rose up in his mind and he reached a hand out to comfort her. He'd never felt compelled to comfort a human before he met Dean Winchester. When his hand lightly brushed against her hair she strained against it first before calming and easing back into slumber.

"Castiel…" His name whispered breathlessly out of her mouth and he pulled his hand back, startled.

"Yeah it threw me off the first time too."

He looked over his shoulder to see Dean awake. "How is she recovering?"

Dean straightened up on the couch and wiped the sleep from his eyes. "She's having a hell of a time with the memories, but she's tough, she'll get better."

He nodded. "Dean you can't blame yourself."

"Cas?"

They both looked at Kayla. She sat up with a smile, there was much more contentment in her eyes than he would have expected considering the circumstances.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, it's fine. I should be up."

He rose from the bed. "I was just checking on your progress, making sure everything is as it should be."

"I'm okay."

"Thanks to you." Dean added, and he meant it. He really saw Cas in a new light.

Castiel smiled flatly in response, he really didn't see it as a victory, or a heroic of any kind. What happened to her was unspeakable and he couldn't help but feel a sense of failure for letting it slip through his fingers.

"Did you get in trouble?"

"Nothing terrible."

Kayla stood up and hugged him. "Cas thank you, you saved my life."

The sentiment was awkward for him and he stepped to the side. "Your gratitude isn't necessary."

"What?" She laughed quietly. "If it weren't for you I'd be dead and that isn't worth a little gratitude?"

"I did what was necessary." He took a step off to the side because she looked like she might try it again.

Dean chuckled and stood up. "I think he's afraid of you."

"Ok, no more physical contact. Oh," she glanced around and went to the chair, picking up his jacket. "I made sure we didn't lose it."

He nodded as he took the jacket and pulled it on; completing the look they knew so well now.

"Hey did you see…" She motioned to a corner of the room and when he turned his gaze she hugged him tightly, whether he liked it or not. "I mean it Castiel, thank you."

It wasn't the worst thing he'd had to endure. He stopped to allow her to do this, it seemed there wasn't a way around it.

Dean smirked; poor Cas had no idea what he was getting in to. "You can't keep him sweetheart, he belongs to someone else." And he didn't think God liked to share.

She smiled and stepped away, he didn't seem too traumatized.

"The memories are a heavy burden to carry, but you have someone with experience to help you." He nodded to Dean. "I trust you'll be able to work through it."

"We'll be ok."

"I'd shake your hand but uh, I think you've met your quota for human contact today."

Castiel smiled. It was getting to be more frequent now, it humanized him. Then he was gone.

"You sleep okay? How are you feeling?"

_Better._ Her mind tried to get her to lie but she wouldn't. "It's um, it'll get easier."

"You think you're ready to get back on the road?"

"Of course," she smiled. "The apocalypse isn't going to stop itself."


End file.
